Bellesa 101: Dirty Talk
If you’re looking to spice up your dirty talk game, listen up!
People think they need to be like a Shakespearean to get down with dirty talk, but in reality, all you need is confidence and a willing partner (or partners), and it can be really really hot!
1. Discuss your limits with your partners
Consent and respecting boundaries are the foundation. Whether you’re a newbie or have some experience, be sure to start a conversation on what feels comfortable, and clarify if there are or aren’t any trigger words. There can be some hard limits with certain words, so making sure that’s out in the open for everyone beforehand would be important in making the experience more safe, comfortable and fun!
2. Experiment with texts
Next, test the waters with some texting first because in real life it can be a bit more nerve wracking, but over text you get the gift of time - time to think about what you want to say, be creative, and build some sexual anticipation. So if starting in the bedroom seems a bit overwhelming for right now, start with sending a flirty, sexy and descriptive text.
3. Be confident!
An essential part of dirty talk is your confidence! Everyone gets a little bit nervous, but remember - nobody is a sex expert. And putting yourself in a new vulnerable spot always can be a little scary, but practice builds your confidence. If you move from texting to in-person, saying things enthusiastically will make the other person feel wanted and desired.
4. Give direction and describe what feels good
Start by describing what they’re doing to you and how it feels in as much detail as possible. Ask questions like “is that what you want? Tell me more” or “what do you want me to do next?” You could also be directive and tell them what you want them to call you. Anything you say, say it with confidence. And if it comes out a little awkward or you’re a little tongue-tied, take a moment and laugh about it. Don’t take it too seriously! Feeling comfortable with someone that you trust will make the whole experience a little bit less stressful.
You already know what to say before, during and after sex - now just try going for it!